Ongoing List of Things I Predict Will Become Popular:

1. Anti-Sideburns: Hair is shaven either even to where the ear connects to the head, or upward toward the temple at a 45 degree angle.

2. Ironic tattoos: People get crappy tatoos on purpose, e.g., the Tasmanian Devil wearing cross-country skis eating a Philly Cheesesteak, a unicorn with a butterfly tattoo on its buttcheek, a poorly drawn portrait of someone else's baby or fiance, Celine Dion standing over Dr. Phil in a boxing ring recreating the famous photo of Muhammad Ali standing over Sonny Liston.

3. Figs: They're the next big thing. I guarantee it.