When I am old and about to die, I want to be launched into space. I want to be put in a minimal spacesuit and jettisoned out a space door. But, I don't want to end up in orbit. I want to float away and look around. I want to see the earth from far above and see all the stars without an atmosphere in the way.

The trickiest part will be calculating the amount of oxygen to take with me so I die of old age instead of suffocating to death. My best guess is three days. I'll probably have to verify that with a doctor though. They'll run some tests and stuff like that, but I've never fully trusted when doctors give people a certain length of time to live. People always seem to fight it out a little longer. And, since I'll be doing something really cool, I can see myself trying really hard not to die too soon. So, I'll add a couple days to whatever the doctors say and bring plenty of water and astronaut ice cream, too.

The last days of my life will be spent thinking about my life and the people I love. That's what I'd be doing in a hospital bed anyway, but I'd prefer to do it in space.

Proof that I'll do anything for my g-friend, or the funniest thing that's happened to me in the last six months:

I recently spent a Saturday afternoon watching Dire Straits' 1985 performance at Live Aid on DVD while her boss explained the genesis of the song "Money for Nothing" and then slowly said each verse after Mark Knopfler finished singing it.

Mark Knopfler: "That ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
Money for nothin’ and chicks for free"

Boss Man: "That ain’t workin'...that’s the way you do it...
Money for nothin’ and chicks for free"

Mark Knopfler: "Now that ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
Lemme tell ya them guys ain’t dumb"

Boss Man: "Now that ain’t workin’...that’s the way you do it...
Lemme tell ya them guys ain’t dumb"

Mark Knopfler: "Maybe get a blister on your little finger
Maybe get a blister on your thumb"

Boss Man: "Maybe get a blister on your little finger...
Maybe get a blister on your thumb"

Mark Knopfler: "We gotta install microwave ovens
Custom kitchen deliveries
We gotta move these refrigerators
We gotta move these colour tv’s"

Boss Man: "We gotta install microwave ovens...
Custom kitchen deliveries...
We gotta move these refrigerators...
We gotta move these colour tv’s"


As an added bonus, I got to see the replica platinum records given to the Boss Man by Quiet Riot for their album "Metal Health." And, if I'm lucky I'll get to play guitar with this dude who played drums for them, Scorpions, Black Sabbath, and Blue Oyster Cult the next time he throws a barbeque.