Do I have what it takes to be a manager at a local Chuck E. Cheese?

5 Reasons "YES":

1. I love pizza.
2. I am mechanically inclined, so I could perform maintenance on the robots.
3. I already wear a red vest pretty much every day.
4. I ain't afraid of baby teeth.
5. I can read.


5 Reasons "NO":

1. I love pizza.
2. I have a propensity for walking with high knees and aiming for fat, ugly faces.
3. I hate short people with crooked or missing teeth, bad hygiene, and speech impediments.
4. I know what's at the bottom of the ball pit.
5. If shit gets bad and some kid is stuck up to his waist in the Whack-A-Mole and I got six mothers with a combined weight total of 2.5 tons breathing down my neck because Chuck's hungover again and the bathroom is overflowing with pizza turds, I would declare martial law and let God sort out the casualities.